Genital herpes is a common disease generally passed on through sexual contact. Normally, genital herpes is as a result of infection with herpes simplex virus type-2 (HSV-2), and research suggests that in some countries, one out of five people have this virus. Genital herpes can also be as a result of or caused by HSV-1, the virus which causes cold sores on your lips and also the face, through mouth to genital contact. Genital herpes, for many people, is a sometimes recurrent, at times painful condition for which there is now an effective treatment for. If you are active sexually (having sex), you are at risk of catching genital herpes, irrespective of your gender, race or social class.
The symptoms of Genital Herpes
If your partner has a first episode of genital herpes, your partner is likely to feel generally ill and have fever, headache, general bone & muscle aches, and also irritation in the genitals. This may occur for some days, during or after which reddened areas will show up on the genitals. These may further grow into painful blisters. The blisters will then burst, generally to leave sores that heal gradually, normally without scarring.
The extremity of this first herpes episode differs between individuals, but for some it may be severe and if not treated it will last for as much as three weeks.
These symptoms should quickly reduce with treatment. The doctor will give your partner an antiviral treatment course. This is an efficacious medicine which, though it doesn’t cure the various, can hasten recovery and lessen the severity or extremity of the herpes episode. There are also other ways that your partner can use to alleviate the pain of genital herpes.
But, for several people who have genital herpes, the physical traits are far outweighed by the emotional tension relating to the diagnosis. There are many misunderstandings about genital herpes, as well as the belief that it is associated with promiscuity, and these has tagged a reputation to it which may result in your partner feeling angry and shocked by the diagnosis.
Anxiety, fear of rejection, loss of assertiveness and guilt are also common emotions.
Your support has an important role in helping your partner deal with these feelings and also helps to minimize the effect of genital herpes on your partner’s life.
Talking About Genital Herpes With Your Partner
A lot of people do not feel comfortable talking about sexuality and also sexual health issues. This article will talk about ways of feeling more confident in talking about dating someone with herpes in case of a sexual relationship.
Cold sores on your mouth and genital herpes are the same condition medically. The important difference starts from the stigma that accompanies a herpes infection that is sexually passed on.
Several people find that their partners are both encouraging and understanding. It is a common presumption to initially think that someone may base their percipience of you based on the fact you have the virus. But, for most people this is a slight skin infection. People fear the likelyhood of rejection but the truth of this is that it hardly happens.
Owing to the fact that fear of rejection is a concern, many victims do not like to risk talking about herpes. Therefore, some people will not tell. Instead they practice safe sex, refrain during herpes outbreaks and hope for the best.
This strategy may have more cons than pros. First, you spend mostly all your time and energy worrying that your partner will contact herpes. It is even harder to tell someone when they just found out they are infected with the virus. For most people, the concern over not telling your partner you have herpes is worse than telling him or her.
On the other hand, by letting your partner know that you have herpes and allowing him or her to enter into the relationship knowing about your relationship, you lessen the likelihood of him or her becoming infected with herpes. The reason is that, when you have an outbreak, you can talk about it with your partner rather than making excuses for why you can’t have sex. Making excuses create distance between lovers and often lead to a high level of misunderstanding and guesswork.
Your partner might term your excuses in ways more harmful to the relationship than an honest discussion of genital herpes would be.
If you are able to talk about the situation honestly and openly, you can find imaginative ways to be sexually intimate safely.
Genital herpes is extremely rampant, with up to one out of four adults who are sexually active having genital herpes, although like 80% remain unaware that they are infected.
Getting Ready To Tell Your Partner
What you say to your partner and how you say it is going to rely on your own personal style.
Your attitude will impact how this news is received. Psychologists observed that many people tend to behave exactly the way you expect them to behave, and expecting rejection also increases the likelihood of an unhappy result.
A honest and positive conversation about issues relating to herpes is the best approach and may be helped by forward preparation.
How long should you know a person before you tell him or her? If it is likely the two of you could end up having sex on the first date, that’s probably the best time.
Preferably, though, it is best to give it a few dates before you tell him. Give the relationship a little time to develop. It is going to be easier if the both of you enjoy a level of comfort and trust in each other’s company. It is probably better to wait for a little while until you know and trust each other very well.
There are perfect and wrong times to bring up the topic of herpes. Some of the improper moments are the crowded bar or maybe a party scene, travel en route to a romantic holiday, or a talk when you have just finished having intense sex. Talking prior to sex isn’t a good idea also.
When you are dating someone with herpes, bring up the topic when you are not in the mood for sex, when you are feeling good about yourself, and when the both of you have an opportunity to have a chat.
The discussion can take place in a place you feel safe and very comfortable. Some people turn off the television and broach the subject over a quiet dinner at their home. Others prefer a more open place, taking a walk in the park, so that their spouse will feel free to go home after the discussion to think things over. This gives room for both people to work off nervous energy at the same time.
Irrespective of where you choose to have this discussion, it is important to allow for the fact that one or the both of you might get emotional at some point.
Try to be natural and unconstrained. If you find yourself whispering, or looking at the floor, pause for a moment and then shoot again. But you are dating someone with herpes, this time try to speak calmly and clearly. Look at your partner in the face. Your method of delivery has an impact on your message. If you are clearly upset, the person you are talking to might see the situation as being much worse than it already is.