What is Genital Herpes and How people deal with dating someone with genital herpes

Genital herpes is a common disease generally passed on through sexual contact. Normally, genital herpes is as a result of infection with herpes simplex virus type-2 (HSV-2), and research suggests that in some countries, one out of five people have this virus. Genital herpes can also be as a result of or caused by HSV-1, the virus which causes cold sores on your lips and also the face, through mouth to genital contact. Genital herpes, for many people, is a sometimes recurrent, at times painful condition for which there is now an effective treatment for. If you are active sexually (having sex), you are at risk of catching genital herpes, irrespective of your gender, race or social class.

dating someone with genital herpes


The symptoms of Genital Herpes

If your partner has a first episode of genital herpes, your partner is likely to feel generally ill and have fever, headache, general bone & muscle aches, and also irritation in the genitals. This may occur for some days, during or after which reddened areas will show up on the genitals. These may further grow into painful blisters. The blisters will then burst, generally to leave sores that heal gradually, normally without scarring.

The extremity of this first herpes episode differs between individuals, but for some it may be severe and if not treated it will last for as much as three weeks.

These symptoms should quickly reduce with treatment. The doctor will give your partner an antiviral treatment course. This is an efficacious medicine which, though it doesn’t cure the various, can hasten recovery and lessen the severity or extremity of the herpes episode. There are also other ways that your partner can use to alleviate the pain of genital herpes.

But, for several people who have genital herpes, the physical traits are far outweighed by the emotional tension relating to the diagnosis. There are many misunderstandings about genital herpes, as well as the belief that it is associated with promiscuity, and these has tagged a reputation to it which may result in your partner feeling angry and shocked by the diagnosis.

Anxiety, fear of rejection, loss of assertiveness and guilt are also common emotions.

Your support has an important role in helping your partner deal with these feelings and also helps to minimize the effect of genital herpes on your partner’s life.

Talking About Genital Herpes With Your Partner

A lot of people do not feel comfortable talking about sexuality and also sexual health issues. This article will talk about ways of feeling more confident in talking about  dating someone with herpes in case of a sexual relationship.

Cold sores on your mouth and genital herpes are the same condition medically. The important difference starts from the stigma that accompanies a herpes infection that is sexually passed on.

Several people find that their partners are both encouraging and understanding. It is a common presumption to initially think that someone may base their percipience of you based on the fact you have the virus. But, for most people this is a slight skin infection. People fear the likelyhood of rejection but the truth of this is that it hardly happens.

Owing to the fact that fear of rejection is a concern, many victims do not like to risk talking about herpes. Therefore, some people will not tell. Instead they practice safe sex, refrain during herpes outbreaks and hope for the best.

This strategy may have more cons than pros. First, you spend mostly all your time and energy worrying that your partner will contact herpes. It is even harder to tell someone when they just found out they are infected with the virus. For most people, the concern over not telling your partner you have herpes is worse than telling him or her.

On the other hand, by letting your partner know that you have herpes and allowing him or her to enter into the relationship knowing about your relationship, you lessen the likelihood of him or her becoming infected with herpes. The reason is that, when you have an outbreak, you can talk about it with your partner rather than making excuses for why you can’t have sex. Making excuses create distance between lovers and often lead to a high level of misunderstanding and guesswork.

Your partner might term your excuses in ways more harmful to the relationship than an honest discussion of genital herpes would be.

If you are able to talk about the situation honestly and openly, you can find imaginative ways to be sexually intimate safely.

Genital herpes is extremely rampant, with up to one out of four adults who are sexually active having genital herpes, although like 80% remain unaware that they are infected.

Getting Ready To Tell Your Partner

What you say to your partner and how you say it is going to rely on your own personal style.

Your attitude will impact how this news is received. Psychologists observed that many people tend to behave exactly the way you expect them to behave, and expecting rejection also increases the likelihood of an unhappy result.

A honest and positive conversation about issues relating to herpes is the best approach and may be helped by forward preparation.

How long should you know a person before you tell him or her? If it is likely the two of you could end up having sex on the first date, that’s probably the best time.

Preferably, though, it is best to give it a few dates before you tell him. Give the relationship a little time to develop. It is going to be easier if the both of you enjoy a level of comfort and trust in each other’s company. It is probably better to wait for a little while until you know and trust each other very well.

There are perfect and wrong times to bring up the topic of herpes. Some of the improper moments are the crowded bar or maybe a party scene, travel en route to a romantic holiday, or a talk when you have just finished having intense sex. Talking prior to sex isn’t a good idea also.

When you are dating someone with herpes, bring up the topic when you are not in the mood for sex, when you are feeling good about yourself, and when the both of you have an opportunity to have a chat.

The discussion can take place in a place you feel safe and very comfortable. Some people turn off the television and broach the subject over a quiet dinner at their home. Others prefer a more open place, taking a walk in the park, so that their spouse will feel free to go home after the discussion to think things over. This gives room for both people to work off nervous energy at the same time.

Irrespective of where you choose to have this discussion, it is important to allow for the fact that one or the both of you might get emotional at some point.

Try to be natural and unconstrained. If you find yourself whispering, or looking at the floor, pause for a moment and then shoot again. But you are dating someone with herpes, this time try to speak calmly and clearly. Look at your partner in the face. Your method of delivery has an impact on your message. If you are clearly upset, the person you are talking to might see the situation as being much worse than it already is.




Should I Be Dating someone With Herpes?

Things can get really scary when your boyfriend or girlfriend reveal they have herpes. It surely isn’t easy to leave or discontinue especially if you really don’t want to hurt their feelings. What if you two have a great chemistry and he/she has a great personality and you don’t want to let go? It certainly can be a bomb on you to learn that your partner has herpes as you will feel your whole world is crashing down.






Don’t panic, don’t take any decision in haste and don’t end the relationship right away. Your partner might be as freaked out as you are to hear the news. The truth is, there are millions of people out there who are infected with type 1 and type 2 Herpes. Some have the type where the mouth is infected while others have the type in which their private parts are infected. If you get physical with an infected person, Herpes can be transmitted. The worst thing is that there are 80% individuals who are infected with Herpes but they don’t really know about it. So, before you just end the relationship, question yourself, do you have Herpes too?
So what should you do after finding about the truth of Herpes in your boyfriend/girlfriend? Should you be dating someone with herpes? Have a look at some tips that might help:

  • Herpes can be transmitted but it is not life threatening. He/she is the same person you fell in love with yesterday so it isn’t fair to shun them just because of Herpes.
  • A good thing is that chances of transmitting Herpes to a partner can decrease by 73 percent if the infected person keeps on taking the suppressive medications regularly. Wearing protection during sexual intercourse can reduce the chances of transmission by 98% if the person is taking suppressive medication along.
  • If it has been quite a long time since the person had Herpes, chances of outbreaks will be low. Usually, the first year of the infection is active in outbreaks. As time passes, the outbreaks reduce. You can avoid the transmission of the disease with mutual communication and respect.
  • One important thing to mention here is that, if your partner has told you about Herpes, it is a sign that they are honest with you. What’s the guarantee that you will find an honest person like them again? They need your support, just comfort them and don’t let them feel you are going to end the relationship because of the disease even if you are freaking out on the inside.

Dating someone with herpes isn’t an unusual thing, there are lots of people out there who are in a successful long-term relationship with a partner infected with Herpes. Some of them are even married and they are living a happy life. Herpes diagnosis is not the end of the world, you just need to take care while you get physical. Mutual cooperation from both sides will be required to make the relationship a success.


Is it risky to date someone with herpes?

Many of us don’t know what to do and where to go when it is revealed that the person you had been dating has herpes. Some say that if you are not ready to take any risks, then it is better to call off the relationship.

tips for dating someone with herpes

But what if you really like the one you are dating with? And what if they tell you about their problem at the beginning of the relationship? It is not written in any book to stop dating someone with herpes. If it is the beginning of the relationship, then you might not be sleeping with the person anytime soon. So, it won’t be a bad idea to do some research about herpes, its risk and whether or not you can enter into a long term relationship with the person.

Keep this thing in mind that there is a high risk you might be contacting someone with herpes because there are many people who themselves don’t know they are suffering from it. Even if you are planning to get physical when you are dating someone with herpes, you will be glad to know that there are ways through which you can reduce the risk of transmission. Common ways to avoid the transmission is to use condoms, avoid sexual activities during the outbreak and take regular suppressive therapy. Herpes is not a contagious disease and it is curable. And if a person is brave enough to tell you that they have been infected with herpes, it is an obvious sign that they are a loyal partner. So don’t just brush them off because of the virus.
Those, who are suffering from herpes, must consider it as their responsibility to tell their date about the infection. It is up to you to choose the right time to disclose but make sure it does not get too late. Just follow these rules:

  • Do not wait until you both get physical
  • Don’t not wait until you are about to get physical. In this case, the attraction might be too strong for you two to take a rational decision at that time.

Kissing, fondling or cuddling are safe, it not necessary that you tell your partner before that. Make sure you talk to your partner in a private location. You need not to rush, just leave some space and time in between so that your partner has room to think and take a decision accordingly. Be sure that you are confident and you accept your health condition.

If you are the infected one, you need to be prepare yourself for rejection. That’s because the person might get hasty in retreating after finding about genital herpes. Keep in mind the one who disdains you just because you have herpes is not worth while anyways. If you are dating the right person, he/she will take her time to find out more about the infection before dumping you straight. There are many people spread throughout the world who have been dating someone with herpes and they are totally protected. So, it is not wise to end the relationship up front.



Forming a relationship with someone suffering from Herpes

It might be a big decision about dating someone with herpes but it is not good to turn down someone just because he/she is suffering from this disease. After all, your partner has shown a lot of courage by telling that he/she has herpes.

dating tips for herpes people

Some Herpes Facts

  • Herpes simplex is a viral skin condition. It can be cold sores on the face, whitlows on the fingers or on genitals or other areas of the skin.
  • There are many people who have genital herpes and they are not aware of it probably because no symptoms are visible.
  • Herpes simplex virus can pass due to skin to skin contact with a person having herpes virus.
  • The first sign of the presence of herpes virus is itching or tingling at the area where the outbreak is about it occur.
  • Even if there are no obvious signs, it is likely that you might still have this virus on your skin.
    Whether it is those blisters around the mouth or genital herpes, your partner would be embarrassed of course and you might be worrying about it too. But a good thing is that herpes is treatable and it is not a big deal to be in a relationship with someone who is suffering from it.

Tips for dating someone with herpes

Take a look at some tips that can help when you are dating someone with herpes:

  • Get yourself tested. You can ask your partner about the type of test they got. It is important to go for a test to find whether or not you have contacted it. There are many people who have genital herpes and they don’t even know about it. If the test is positive and your partner is positive too then you both can get sexually intimate without any worry.
  • Support your partner. You need to recognize this that it takes a lot of courage for anyone to admit they have herpes. They need your support so don’t just dump then because of this problem.
  • Educate yourself about herpes. You can find a number of websites about herpes that can let you know more about it. Check out the herpes dating site review too. You will learn that dating someone with herpes is just like dating someone with cold sores. Don’t let this be a barrier in true love.

Encourage your partner for medication. Before you two start sleeping together or you get physical, you need to be sure that your partner is on suppressive medication. These medication can reduce the risk of transmission. Wearing condoms does not really stop the virus completely but it can help. During and after outbreaks, do not get physical. You must encourage your partner that he/she tells whenever they feel something is about to come. During that cycle, it is better that you avoid getting physical.

Encourage your partner to check out the herpes dating site review too so that he/she can learn about the dating experience of people who are already suffering from Herpes. It might inspire them to feel better about themselves.